Day Five

Why is it so hot in the season.  We still have 6 weeks until Summer, and it is already 34.9C here today.  In fact, it was 18C at 3 am this morning.  Thsi will explain why I had such problems sleeping last night.

Last night was not a great night for me.  For the first time since I started the Optifast, I really wanted to eat something, other than just steamed veggies, last night.  I looked at my fridge.  There isn’t much in there at the moment.  I emptied most of it out on Wednesday.  Just as well.  I think I would have made a peanut butter & honey sandwich if I had had the bread in the fridge! I left some cheese in the fridge for some time after the surgery.  I really thought about just grabbing a slice to eat, but I thought…. better not.  The whole point of the Optifast & veggies for two weeks is to kick start the weight loss, amd to also shrink the liver.  When they do the surgery, having the liver smaller, makes it easy to move it out of the way to access the stomach.

I really don’t want to sabotage this whole thing.  I know that eating a single slice of cheese won’t be a total disaster & won’t completely derail the process, but I have committed to having this surgery because I can’t lose the weight by myself.  I need to prove to myself that I can do it.  I need to prove to myself that I will do this long term.  If I can’t do this for just two weeks, how will I do it for the rest of my life? I know I won’t be perfect all the time (like possibly on the trip next year), but I need to be perfect for at least these two weeks.

I weighed in this morning.  I weigh 140.9kg.  So, since I started the Optifast I have lost a total of 4.8kg.  I started with a BMI of 54.8.  That is known as Super Morbidly Obese.  There I said it out loud, and in print.  When people who know me, see me, probably don’t realise just how heavy I am.  Well, here it is.  I am heavier than most people think.  In 5 days I have managed to bring my BMI down to 53.  It’s a start.   Not the end of the journey, just the start.

Hamish is not happy with the heat.  He hs bee laying in the hallways, trying to catch any breeze that he can find.  He has even tried attacking something under the security door.  There was nothing there, but he really wanted to get it.

More tomorrow.  If I don’t melt first.

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