Where to Begin? Why Bother?

I have been away from here for quite some time. Probably it’s been a year or more. So much has happened since I was last here. Not sure it’s been all for the good.

In three weeks will will have been a year since I left my job. Even at this distance I am not sure how I exactly feel about it. I miss the work, and I really miss the income (more on that soon). But there are things I don’t miss, but I will not be going into more detail about that. Just suffice it to say, it wasn’t the healthiest place for me at the end.

In the almost 12 months since I left my job I have been looking for work. To satisfy the government requirements for my unemployment allowance, I must look for at least 6 jobs each fortnight. It is not uncommon for my to apply for up to 16 positions in that timeframe. Despite that, I have had very few interviews. It’s very demoralising. You are putting yourself out there, saying ‘Pick me!’ and often you get no response at all. Why is that? How hard is it in this day and age to take a few seconds to acknowledge an application. How hard is it to let people actually know that they haven’t been successful in their application? With many people, it apparently is too hard.

There are a small number of employers who, even though they don’t tell you themselves if you have been successful or not, do make it easy for you to find out what is happening with your application. They have on their employment section of their websites, information about the progress of the vacancies. At first is shows the vacancy as ‘Advertised’. Then it will change to ‘Shortlisting’, so that means you still have hope because you may be getting a call or email invitation to interview. The final stage is ‘Interviewing’. Once it changes to this final status if you have not received an invitation, you then know that your application has not been successful. That’s a much better way of doing things. You’re not left in this strange limbo wondering what’s happening. Unlike other employers who don’t even let you know that they even received your application in the first place!

So yesterday I received an email telling me that my latest interview had been unsuccessful. Consequently, my emotions are not very under control at the moment. In fact I am fighting back the tears at the moment. And not very successfully. I know that at my age, the longer it takes to get a job, the less likely it becomes that I will every get another job.

So, my weight has not been great during this past year. After I left my job, I became very depressed about things. Not the least of which was (and still is) the financial position this has put my into. I am still intending to go on the trip next year. The trip is now less than 600 days away. But I have saved less than half the money I need to pay for the trip, let alone any spending money or new clothes etc. If I have not found a new job by August or September this year, I will have to just tell my superannuation company that I have ‘retired’ so I can access that money. It will mean I will be able to also fix some things around the house, like the peeling paint on some ceilings and walls, and then I would be able to have someone come to live with me to help with some of the bills. My weight went up to a high of 152kg at the worst point. I’ve now managed to bring it back down to under 140kg. During this time, since some time in November, it also went back up from 140kg to 147kg around Christmas time. It’s going back in the right direction now. Downwards.

Talking of bills. Because I only receive the money for my unemployment, I have had to drastically cut back my expenses. My private health insurance has been suspended for a while. I couldn’t afford the money at the moment. I have had to suspend my gym membership as well. I just pay a token $10 per fortnight, so that when I can afford it, I will be able to go back to the gym and not need to pay a joining fee again. I have cut back the costs for my phones, and I didn’t upgrade my mobile when it came off contract. I have even had to cancel the insurance on the house. I didn’t want to do it, but I just did not have the money for the payments. At the moment, I haven’t needed to pay a water bill or electricity bill because I was into credit with them both, so I am allowing my usage to use up those credits. Even though I have cut back my expenses to the bone, I don’t go out very often in order to save money. I only go out for Church and if I have an interview most of the time. Even with all these economies, I still don’t have the money to buy food. I am having to rely on Church to be able to buy food. Oh well, it’s helping with the diet.

So I am going to go now. I will try to do a bit of tidying up for a while before I plant myself in front of the television for hours. Like I said, the depression is back, big time. So the motivation is falling way below the floor. I mean, what’s the point of applying for jobs when no one apparently wants me? Why bother? Why put myself through the pain of putting myself out there, just to be ignored, or told ‘We think you’re over qualified’? I need a certain income level to cover all my bills. And $35-45,000 is NOT going to cut it. And that is an insult to someone with almost 40 years experience in the workforce and who has taken the time and effort to return to TAFE for training and to have formal qualifications to prove that I can do the things I already had learnt while I worked over the years. Treat us with respect!

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